You deserve the best. You deserve to be treated like a queen. You are royalty. You are worth dying for. You are precious. You are one of a kind. You are loved by the creator of everything. You are adored. You are darling. You were designed and made just the way you are. All of you is beautiful. You are worth bleeding for.
These are all phrases we’ve heard growing up, aren’t they? If not these, some sort of variation of these. Someone somewhere told us we are special and we brush them off because ugh mom – I’ve heard this a thousand times. It becomes sound to our ears and we ignore it. Tell me something new or don’t tell me anything. It doesn’t mean anything anymore after the ten thousandth time we hear it. Then before we know it, we forget it. Sound doesn’t mean anything and soon the words lose their meaning, the message forgotten. When we forget it, we start living like we don’t deserve the best. It’s okay if I’m not treated like a queen. I’m not royalty. I’m not worth dying for. I’m not that precious. Maybe I’m not that unique. Maybe I’m not that loved. I’m not adored. I’m not darling. I am a mistake. I’m not pretty. I’m not worth bleeding for.
I’m not sad because we’ve stopped living like we’re worth loving. The truth is, we still live like we’re worth loving, the thing is, we’ve settled for the wrong kind of love. We’ve settled for the love that sticks around when the sun is out and the birds are singing. We settled for the love that calls when it’s convenient for them. We settled for the person that does nice things only when they have messed up. We settled for the person that changes for a short period of time to make you happy then continues to disrespect you. We settled for the person that promises to change and does for a day only to revert back to their old ways convinced that that’s just how they are and we’re the bad guy for trying to change them. We settled for the love that hurts you over and over but convinced you that it’s your fault. We settled for the love that told us that our problems are too much for them to handle and it’s our fault that they’re walking away. No, I’m not sad because we’ve stopped living like we’re worth loving; I’m sad because we have stopped living like we are already loved.
You see, we are already beloved. We have the best. We are being treated like royalty. Someone has already died for us. Someone calls us precious. To someone, we are one of a kind. We are loved by the creator of everything. We are already adored. We are already seen as darling. We were designed and hand made and there is someone that sees how priceless you are. There is someone that sees you as beautiful just the way you are, disorders, anger issues, self-confidence issues, and any other sort of issues you may think you have included. Someone has already bled and is still bleeding for you.
Two thousand years ago, a man named Jesus, the son of God, our Lord and Savior, God in human form, came and stepped into existence. Our God limited Himself so much that He actually took on our pain and form in order to be close to us. He walked, breathed, cried, and lived among us. Thirty-three years after His birth, He was persecuted, whipped, dragged, spat on and humiliated. He was forced to carry His own cross up a hill in order to die on it. Once at the top, nails were hammered into His hands and feet and He hung for hours, suffocating, going into shock as every bone in His arms and shoulders broke and His leg muscles tensed. The Father Himself turned away from the pain of His Son. When Jesus gave up His Spirit, we thought that was the end of the story.
Three days later, Jesus picked the pen back up and continued writing. The guards discovered the tomb to be empty and people began to see Jesus walking around, scars and all. His death wasn’t the end of the story. His resurrection isn’t the end either but it changed history forever. The veil that had separated us from God had been torn by God Himself so we could be close to Him. Jesus bled for us. He died for us. Jesus is God incarnate so we can translate that and say the God of the universe bled for us. The God of the universe died for us.
This is what real love looks like. Real love bleeds. And we cut open every scar when we turn away from Him and settle for the person that treats us like we’re less than, like we’re second best, like we’re trash to be walked over.
Real love stays when the sun stops shining and the rain is pouring. Real love stays when the lightning comes and the blows come hard. Real love stays when the blood starts pouring and the tears begin to roll. Real love isn’t afraid to endure pain with you and for you. Real love isn’t afraid to die for you.
My friend, my sister, my brother, this is the love you deserve. This is the love you have. Don’t let anyone take that away from you. If they aren’t willing to bleed for you, then they don’t love you. They can say they love you all they want, but you can stop, look at them and say, “You use the word love. I do not think you know what it means” (To quote Princess Bride very poorly).
If the person you think loves you doesn’t call you on time, then don’t answer when they do. If they don’t show up on time, then stand up and leave. If they don’t respect your wishes or at least compromise with you, don’t bow down, you’re not a doormat. If they don’t stay when you have an anxiety attack or a bad night, then don’t let them see you when you’re on top of the world. If they threaten to leave every time you are upset, then they don’t deserve your presence at all. If their eyes or mind wander, then you are free to leave. If they flirt with other people, take other people out, or make you uncomfortable in any way, then stop defending them. If they lie to you, cheat on you, or hide things from you, then forgive them and never give them the chance to do it again.
You aren’t more holy if you forgive them and give them chance after chance. God’s the one who gives out endless chances and loves them unconditionally. They’re His child, not yours. You are however, a child of God who is worthy of respect and real love. Walking away doesn’t make you a bad guy. If they try and tell you otherwise, you bite your tongue, walk away, and sit at the foot of the cross. Be angry, be hurt, scream, yell, cry, but don’t forget where your worth actually comes from. I know you’ll be upset when you see them moving on and appearing to be happy with their life. You’ll be angry that they aren’t hurting as much as you are. You’ll be frustrated that they aren’t dying every time they see you. Do the heartbreaking with Jesus. He won’t run away because the blows are hard and the blood starts running and the tears are rolling. He has already taken the blows for you, He has already bled for you and He has already shed tears for you. Let Him do it again.
Real love bleeds and isn’t afraid to die for you, my dear. And the good news? You already have it.
And that person that treated you like dirt? They’ll see you for who you really are whether it be a week later or a year later, they’ll see you shining from the love you already have and realize the jewel they missed out on and you know what? It’s their loss.